Celliquette

What :so now it's cellphones he's pissed with?


When I bought my first ever cell phone in 2004, I vowed to not do some things that I have seen others do with their cell phone. I won't even get into driving while chatting on one that isn't "hands free".

Some absurvations:

1. Why is it that the less interesting a conversation a person is having on a cell on a bus or in another enclosed public space, the longer it lasts. Also the louder it is. Polite people who take calls like "I'm on the train we're passing Mimico....6:20..ok.on the shelf above the fridge..k.bye" are wonderful people. Ones who "do business" on the train should all die miserable deaths...well not on the train right there....later..when they're alone.

2. I have seen teenage girls talk to each other on their phones when they are IN THE SAME PLACE - hope Mom and Dad have one of those unlimited plans or a second job (or a sound heart when they get open the bill).

3. A ringer does not need a sub-woofer. I'm not kidding: I've heard them that loud and with that much bass so you think some jackass is driving by in his car whose entire trunk is a subwoofer blaring hip hop.

4. If you are standing behind me and you start talking on your phone (with no ringer going off) out of the blue don't be suprised and give me a dirty look when I turn around and wonder, for all of a second and a half, if you are talking to me. I don't care if you are a gorgeous young woman and I am an old goat: This is a reflex developed over 3 and a half decades of life where nobody had cellphones and only insane people talked in public.

5. So your phone has an MP3 player? Excellent, my friend. But use the HEADPHONE JACK - I don't share my MP3s with you, show me the same fucking courtesty.